well....
so here I am.
quite a few weeks into my official summer creative sabbatical.
i have organized. i have painted my office. i have sorted through information. i have jotted down many notes. i have been moving at an easy pace. i have been building in bike rides, hikes, poolside book reading and coffee shop walks........
its just what its supposed to be and I am very grateful.
but i want to also acknowledge and talk about the underlying tendency to buck against this process and just go back to my old way of doing things. its a challenge to trust this process and keep believing in this way of easy-ness.
I had a chance, then two, then three chances to lease a building last year for The Divine Playhouse. I walked away from each...
why?
Because I have a wise heart beating in my chest and it is beating out a new rhythm for me. It is pumping life through my body in a new direction.....
I am here to breathe in this new experience before moving forward. I have carved away this time to create REST in my life. A PAUSE POINT. a moment of reflection.
I am giving myself the time to create with no expectation. no time line. no audience.
I am giving myself time to think.
The struggle the last 24 hours is what to "do" to step into a creation mode.
I know a lot about this hesitation before the SURGE of power that becomes CREATION.
what I do not know a lot about is how to handle my irritation with this moment. this irritation with myself for not being able to do it more smoothly.
so I waver in procrastination and fumbling.
i scoot things about. i make excessive messes. i clean them up.
and then finally i dive in.
i sit.
i stand.
i sit again.
until finally i am able to quiet the chatter of life and step into the moment of bliss.
the moment of CREATION
so maybe its a CREATION SABATICAL....
