the last three weeks have been a little odd. i set a new ball in motion when i decided to move some rooms around. i'm still trying to get things settled back into their new place. i also accepted work on a few outside projects and i got a little lost from my own work while helping others. i am trying to refocus and reclaim my boundaries a little bit right now. what is it that i am focused on?? huh?
i think i will spend thursday trying to get my studio set up in a way that will delight me a little more. right now it just seems to be a big mess and every time i walk in i want to walk right back out, or come to this corner and turn my chair so I am looking away from it all.
its time to lock all my doors, and hide away for a few days.
its time to imagine everything finding its place. to imagine order.
life doesn't stop.... so i just keep on rollin.
in the undercurrent of confusion, all my projects are still alive and rollin along with me.
i just need to get a little clarity so i can see everything clearly again.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Wild Things..
.... you can trust your desires.
they are leading your heart. desires are like little episodes of possibility that play on your minds eye. what do you see? what do you quietly dream about when all people have exited and its you alone with you?
lately i have been pushing the boundaries in my mind. thats where they move first ya know. in the mind before the world around thee.
I'm pushing out farther now that spring is here. its the green. its the tank tops and barefeet that are feeling sunshine again. i feel alive.
hibernation is behind me and i've slothed off the blankets and sleep and I feel awake and full of wildness.
everything mildly wild, outrageously wild, remotely adventurous has my attention right now. motorcycles and dancing naked running through my mind. ahhahahah alluring. ahhahah
i listen to the whisper. i turn my head when I catch fascinating out of the corner of my eye. this is HERE to move me. to take my hand and lead me farther into my destiny with MY life. my experiences.
there is nothing to be afraid of.
there is nothing to hold me back or limit me.
my wisdom runs deep.
i know myself
my discernment is keen
my wildness is untapped.
ahahha I am laughing now... thinking of the sign i made years ago.
"this is the wild woman's journey.
diving into my rich flowing core.
pursuing truth.
Finding more."
and the journey continues for me.
and i absolutely love it!!!
they are leading your heart. desires are like little episodes of possibility that play on your minds eye. what do you see? what do you quietly dream about when all people have exited and its you alone with you?
lately i have been pushing the boundaries in my mind. thats where they move first ya know. in the mind before the world around thee.
I'm pushing out farther now that spring is here. its the green. its the tank tops and barefeet that are feeling sunshine again. i feel alive.
hibernation is behind me and i've slothed off the blankets and sleep and I feel awake and full of wildness.
everything mildly wild, outrageously wild, remotely adventurous has my attention right now. motorcycles and dancing naked running through my mind. ahhahahah alluring. ahhahah
i listen to the whisper. i turn my head when I catch fascinating out of the corner of my eye. this is HERE to move me. to take my hand and lead me farther into my destiny with MY life. my experiences.
there is nothing to be afraid of.
there is nothing to hold me back or limit me.
my wisdom runs deep.
i know myself
my discernment is keen
my wildness is untapped.
ahahha I am laughing now... thinking of the sign i made years ago.
"this is the wild woman's journey.
diving into my rich flowing core.
pursuing truth.
Finding more."
and the journey continues for me.
and i absolutely love it!!!
Friday, April 4, 2008
deadline or no deadline?
no deadline....
well the friends I am running with would love for me to commit to the half marathon that is coming up in a few weeks. it sounds so fun... but I really don't want to have a deadline.
when I committed to this i wanted it to be a practice that complimented my new way of "doing" things.
learning pace. going with the flow. learning how to get there without a deadline. i'll arrive when i arrive.
yeah. so i'm not signing up for this one. but i know that eventually i will be ready. and i will know i am ready.
i trust this process.
BUT i did hear that there is a 5k coming up in a short while and for the first time ever that sounds very very manageable! so i think i might do that. how cool will it be to get a number :)
well the friends I am running with would love for me to commit to the half marathon that is coming up in a few weeks. it sounds so fun... but I really don't want to have a deadline.
when I committed to this i wanted it to be a practice that complimented my new way of "doing" things.
learning pace. going with the flow. learning how to get there without a deadline. i'll arrive when i arrive.
yeah. so i'm not signing up for this one. but i know that eventually i will be ready. and i will know i am ready.
i trust this process.
BUT i did hear that there is a 5k coming up in a short while and for the first time ever that sounds very very manageable! so i think i might do that. how cool will it be to get a number :)
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Trusting the Process
I was drinking my morning coffee in the bathtub this morning... (morning bubble baths are so different than evening ones.. a whole different mood and thought process is followed) Anyway... it was morning sunshine and visions of how my day might unfold...
and I was noticing that as much as I am relaxing into this creative sabbatical in my life, as much as I am enjoying it and riding a wave that is effortlessly carrying me along.... I still have to focus on trusting the process.
I used to be more comfortable trusting hard work to get me somewhere. I was used to setting deadlines for myself and pushing myself to accomplish things more quickly.
Now I am teetering. Transitioning from one way of being into another way of being is not one distinct step in most cases. this has been a process of accepting more relaxation and pleasure into my life. this has been a process of observing myself riding the wave effortlessly and easily. there's an ocean of life under me.. and its moving me across miles of water while i am resting. while i am dreaming. while i am trusting.
again i am grateful
and I was noticing that as much as I am relaxing into this creative sabbatical in my life, as much as I am enjoying it and riding a wave that is effortlessly carrying me along.... I still have to focus on trusting the process.
I used to be more comfortable trusting hard work to get me somewhere. I was used to setting deadlines for myself and pushing myself to accomplish things more quickly.
Now I am teetering. Transitioning from one way of being into another way of being is not one distinct step in most cases. this has been a process of accepting more relaxation and pleasure into my life. this has been a process of observing myself riding the wave effortlessly and easily. there's an ocean of life under me.. and its moving me across miles of water while i am resting. while i am dreaming. while i am trusting.
again i am grateful
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)