breaking all my crayons .......

.............. the last two weeks i have been down in the basement of my soul.... cleaning out all kinds of boxes. boxes stuff full of papers i never even read before.

and you know those back corners of the closet.... behind the boxes of shoes, behind the rod of clothes... the place where you find safey pins and lost bras. yeah.... i went there too. found all kinds of lost pieces of time.... places in my memory that were lost when the moon went down.

dragging it up and airing it out. washing and hanging it out in the sunshine on the line.....

and now.
now.

i know myself better than before.
i know pieces of my life that can only be looked at in retrospect, with
magnifying 3-d glasses.

and now.
umm.... i am so amused.
so crazy happy
that i am listening to the music as loud as the speakers will let me
and coloring with my permanent markers..... all outside the lines you know.
messy
breaking all the rules
and breaking crayons in half ... twice.

i'm going crazy happy.
now.

sitting on top of the world, feet dangling over the edge. and from up here it all makes perfect sense.

Dreams in the night

I had a dream... and now I am awake at 2:47 in the morning with a sense of awe.
Taylor had a dream too, and in his dream he asked me a question. It woke me enough to realize what I had just been dreaming. so I am glad he was talking in his sleep.

I am filled with a certain sense of awe right now. the night is still all around me and I can feel the dream still alive in me as reality. I am sleepy and I will go back to bed in just a bit... but I didn't want to let the dream slip away. I didn't want to miss this moment. I had to write a moment, and capture the moment to remember tomorrow.

...

something amazing is happening again.
something new and fresh is unfolding in my life and I am walking in the middle of it only half aware.

dreams give us a greater glimpse.
and i want to remember all this inspiration

put me on the mood elevator

put me on the mood elevator
hot hot
i'm riding to the top
im going go from the bottom
to the top floor

its crazy hectic in the basement with the boxes
with the old and dirty shoes
i'm riding on the mood elevator
and i'm taking me with you

my clothes change colors from dingy to blue
my face goes from frowning to singing outloud shining with pleasure and goodness flowing thru
me to you
its my mood elevator
and i'm taking me with you

at the bottom floor we're sad and blue
but on the mood elevator we move right through
and what do we want
we want good good stuff
shiny steady central highness
traveling
up to the top
making everything glow in the light
glow in the sunshine
at the top
close to the clouds
close to the sun
laying naked and feeling alright
there where you'll find me
feeling alright
in the sunshine
at the top
feeling alright
all is well
and i am bright

so i moved everything around again...

if you know me...
you know i move things around a lot.

really... i think its a lot of fun.
i change every day to some degree... why should i keep walking around in the same scene?
its kinda like an environmental art project to me. i rearrange my environment and i echo whats going on inside me.

i have been inside organizing everything in my studio/office the last few days.

i have been sorting out art supplies.
& creating a massive spreadsheet "flowline" pages that map out possible paths for my summer & fall in regards to kastle key (yes, this is true i am a computer nerd)

and i have also been pulled into a massive organization of my house pictures. let me tell you, this has been on my personal wish list for 3 years now. its giving me a lot of satisfaction to create a little storybook of memories using all these photos. i'm happy to share it all, but really its for me. so that I can remember. so i can read the story again and again and remember how much i absolutely love my life. how many blessings have been there for me because i have believed in the power of life. its there for every single living breathing one of us... but this is my story and i relish in the details.

yeah, im happy.

check out my photography journal .. and click on "house love" to see what i'm talking about.

Wild Things..

.... you can trust your desires.

they are leading your heart. desires are like little episodes of possibility that play on your minds eye. what do you see? what do you quietly dream about when all people have exited and its you alone with you?

lately i have been pushing the boundaries in my mind. thats where they move first ya know. in the mind before the world around thee.

I'm pushing out farther now that spring is here. its the green. its the tank tops and barefeet that are feeling sunshine again. i feel alive.
hibernation is behind me and i've slothed off the blankets and sleep and I feel awake and full of wildness.

everything mildly wild, outrageously wild, remotely adventurous has my attention right now. motorcycles and dancing naked running through my mind. ahhahahah alluring. ahhahah

i listen to the whisper. i turn my head when I catch fascinating out of the corner of my eye. this is HERE to move me. to take my hand and lead me farther into my destiny with MY life. my experiences.

there is nothing to be afraid of.
there is nothing to hold me back or limit me.
my wisdom runs deep.
i know myself
my discernment is keen
my wildness is untapped.


ahahha I am laughing now... thinking of the sign i made years ago.

"this is the wild woman's journey.
diving into my rich flowing core.
pursuing truth.
Finding more."

and the journey continues for me.
and i absolutely love it!!!

my beach house collage

so, if you know me well... you know i am planning on getting a beach house someday. i made an awesome digital collage today with a bunch of my favorite pictures. here's the notebook.

Today I am Inspired by this Collaboration

I have been inspired by this collaborative project. I listened and I connected with a greater hope for our society... not just a new president who will lead our country with greatness... but a society that will lead Collectively. Yes we Can.